“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”
― George Orwell, Animal Farm

 “The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”
― George Orwell, Animal Farm

 “Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood.”
― George Orwell, 1984

So Donald Trump is the president—so says the Electoral College.  The majority of voters disagree, but such is the nature of the beast.  We aren’t a true democracy, never have been.  And I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared of what the future may be.  But I don’t want to talk about Donald Trump.  Not directly.  I want to reflect on some of the wisdom of George Orwell.

“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”  Now, as a Christian white person from a middle-class family, I don’t think that I gave that idea much thought for YEARS.  Certainly as a woman, I experienced some prejudices and biases, but in the grand scheme of life, I’ve generally been treated well by society as a whole.  After going through the divorce, things started to shift.  I was on welfare, state health care, and food stamps.  I was one of “those people.”  And, believe me, when I see the memes on Facebook that imply that people using government benefits are lazy freeloaders, it stings, and then it pisses me off.  Apparently, according to some in our society, those of us who need government help are less equal than others.  Luckily, for me, I only get a taste of what that’s like.  I’ve got the right color of skin and the right religion so I’m generally left alone.  Not everyone is quite as “equal” as I am.  I see it with my patients all of the time.  Appendicitis?  Acceptable.  Cancer?  You poor thing.  Heart attack?  How awful!  Depression?  What the hell is wrong with you?  Can’t you just be happy?  My patients are regarded by society as less equal.  What really confuses people is when they learn that Christian (equal), white (equal) Jenny (woman—barely equal) was on government assistance (less equal) and has spent time in a psych ward for depression (really less equal).  I don’t fit neatly into the box.  Generally, once people know these things about me, we just pretend that the less-equal parts of me don’t exist.  That’s more comfortable for most people.

“The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”  Is this where we’re at right now?  It kinda feels that way to me.  There’s ugliness all over the place.  From all sides.  I’m not saying that all sides are all ugly; I AM saying that all sides contain ugliness.  And honestly, people, we’re better than this.  We are.  I believe that we are.  There exists a certain comfort in stuffing people in boxes, categorizing them, labeling them, and then dismissing their humanity.  It’s so easy to do and say vile things when you look at groups of people and not individual persons.  It’s lazy, frankly.  The easy way out.  Most people are like me:  a mix of “more equal” and “less equal.”  We all have some “less equal” in us.  Is that ALL we are?  Is that what we are reduced to?

“Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood.” 

“Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood.” 

“Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood.”

Being understood is the universal need, methinks.  I see it every day at work.  Every.  Single.  Day.  They don’t need me to love them (I do), they need me to understand their pain.  I see it in the election aftermath, but it’s not specific to the election; it’s specific to being a human being.  Certainly, being loved is great, wonderful, empowering, even, in some cases …. But to be understood?  That is the gift of being HEARD.  And that’s something that humans crave to the deepest core of our being.  My dad loves me but many, many times doesn’t understand me.  I believe my ex-husband always loved me but certainly didn’t understand me.  When you find someone who understands you, you hold that connection with both of your hands, and you never let go because it’s so freeing and so RARE.

And maybe that’s the answer as we move forward through this quagmire of election fall-out.  Maybe we listen to one another and really, truly, honestly seek to UNDERSTAND those with different beliefs/viewpoints/mindsets.  It doesn’t mean we’ll always agree.  There are certain people with whom I’m fairly certain I’ll never agree:  but being a decent human being (regardless of race, religion, orientation, etc.) asks us to do that, to be that.  Remember that crap we learned in kindergarten?  “Treat others the way you’d like to be treated”?  The ol’ Golden Rule?  Well, it’s golden for a reason!  Let’s flex our self-discipline muscles and work on understanding one another and really listening versus listening to respond.  Just HEARING each other.  At the end of the day, I think we all want to live in a great country.  Sure, we have different ideas on how that happens and how that looks, but the end goal is the same:  Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  For all.