It’s been just over a month since I worked my last night shift, longer than that since I graduated from school. My life, at this point, feels surreal. I have a day shift job (and NO SCHOOL!) with people who are thrilled than I am there, who are kind and appreciative, who have bent over […]

I haven’t written in ages. Haven’t posted anything on my IG or FB in ages. I’ve been in survival mode, slogging through my last quarter: writing papers, completing clinical hours, working full-time nights all in the middle of a pandemic. And then heap on political turmoil and my emotional reserves were depleted.  I’m still depleted, […]

I feel like I should post an update to my completely abysmal and despondent last post: med adjustments have been made; therapy has begun, again; school is back in session.   I. Feel. Good. I think, in large part, this is due to (1) passing my state certification examination (PMH-NP!), and (2) realizing that I’m only […]

2020 is stupid.  A virus globally. Racism nationally. Depression personally. Hey, I know I’m not alone in this. Many, many people are struggling right now: I see it at work; our units have been filled to capacity. Work has honestly been my salvation of late. It’s my distraction. It stops all of the other thoughts […]

I’m an overthinker. Always have been. Likely always will be. At the current moment, I’m sitting alone on a balcony in the Outer Banks while the rest of my family (brothers, sisters, daughters, nephews) all hang out by the pool. It’s windy and I’m in a sweatshirt and leggings while the rest sun themselves, apparently […]

Dear Daughter, Well, what can I say to you that could possibly help you to feel any better right now? You’ve been an outstanding student for thirteen years, and now, on the cusp of wrapping up your school career before heading off to college, everything was ripped away from you and replaced with new, unknown, […]

Welp. Ever since this whole thing started in the US, I’ve been thinking, “I need to write about this,” and every day since this whole thing started, I’ve pushed that feeling to the back of my mind and ignored it. I’m not completely sure why – although a decent guess would be that I don’t […]

Such a strange feeling for me. Contentment? Is that what I’m experiencing? It’s difficult to identify because I can’t remember the last time I felt like this. Work is hard; school is busy; I barely have a moment to think these days … And yet lately I’ve noticed a calm about me that I haven’t […]

I haven’t written recently but I was cleaning out my phone and found a treasure trove of things that have made me laugh.  These are mostly conversations with my daughters but not exclusively.  Clearly they know and take advantage of my rule: If it makes me laugh, you’re not in trouble.   Me: Carolyn, when […]

Like so many of these: a blog that I’m not interested in writing means I’m wrestling with feelings that I’m not interested in having. Heartbreak. Okay—maybe not full-on heartbreak but most definitely heart fracture.  This isn’t a fella that I was madly in love with (yet), but I was considering it, which, at this point […]