It’s been over a week since my last blog post. I’m doing my damndest to be timelier with these. Then again, I am ALWAYS on time for work and appointments. Can you really expect it here, too?

So with me being in the throes of stupid em effing depression and a week into a probably weather-related headache, how shall I entertain you this week?

Past Facebook posts, of course ….

Enjoy….

 

“As we plan a vacay …

Me: What about a cruise?! I hear those are fun!

Both girls: NO!!!!!

Me: Why not? They’re supposed to have a ton of activities!

Carolyn: Like sinking?”

 

“Carolyn (to Chrissy): Stop interrupting Mom!

Me: Story of my life, Carolyn.

Carolyn: What is?

Me: Being interr—

Carolyn: Sorry. I don’t have time for this.”

 

“Chrissy (to the cat who jumped up on the couch): Hey, fatty! What are you doing? I don’t want you here!

Carolyn (from the other room): Don’t talk to Mom that way!”

 

“Carolyn: We read a book today written by Sally Ride.

Me: Sally Ride the astronaut?

Carolyn: No, Sally Ride, the famous potato farmer.

Chrissy: Yeah. I saw her potatoes at the Smithsonian. Very famous.”

 

“Me: Did Jesus make any mistakes?

Carolyn: He made you.”

 

“Carolyn: I’m glad you met and married Dad; otherwise, you wouldn’t have me, and you’d be sad every day.

Me: Indeed. I’d be weeping myself to sleep every night.

Carolyn: Of course, you’d be thankful every day to not have Chrissy.

Me: Good point. Things balance out.”

“So the delivery guy was asking if he should open the box and set the recliner up. Chrissy says, ‘We can do it. We’re strong, independent women!’”

 

“Upon sitting outside and the breeze blowing ….

Me: WHAT is that smell?! Did the cats kill something? It smells like decomposing animal!

Chrissy: Are you sure that’s not just your soul?”

 

“Chrissy: I’m changing your name in my phone to ‘Shrew’.

Me: Did you just call me a shrew???

Chrissy: Yep.

Me: Define it.

Chrissy: A cruel, cruel woman.

Me: You know me so well.”

 

“Me: Chrissy, people think I’m hilarious.

Chrissy: What—did you post another selfie?”

 

“Carolyn: Chrissy gets on my nerves.

Me: Chrissy gets on everyone’s nerves.

Carolyn: Can’t you sell her?

Me: I don’t think anyone would buy her.

Carolyn: Try e-Bay.”

 

“Upon Chrissy talking about hanging out with a male band member before the game…

Chrissy: We’re just not sure what we’re going to do.

Me: Just make sure it’s not each other.”

 

“Upon being scolded for sass ….

Chrissy: Sass isn’t bad, Mom. Sass gives you character.”

 

“Upon making hard boiled eggs ….

Carolyn: Do I have to peel them before I boil them?”

 

Thank you, Jesus, for these girls.

Instant mood lift.

 

My Daughters: quashing depression and curing headaches (when they’re not causing them)